What Is There To Say ?

You ever came to a point where you were so hurt and full of sadness you didn't know how to describe it ?
Well that's how I feel right at this moment. See all my life I never felt accepted by anyone not even my own family. I always felt like there was something they didn't like about me. Or something I did was always wrong in their eyes. I always had to do things their way; the way they saw fit.
I was always treated differently from everyone else despite the situation or who I was with. Amongst friends, family, peers etc; people always saw me differently. I was always told "you're treated differently because you're not like anyone else." I don't have any clue why anyone thought that line made me feel better.
But as I got older I realized when I did something it was like the world was going to end but if someone else did the exact same thing it was always "oh they're expected to do that let it go." But why? Why does it have to be like that? Why can't I be expected of such things? The response always was "It's not like you" or "You're not capable of such things." But who's to say I'm not ?
See many have set high standards for me and have set me on an extremely high pedestal completely forgetting that I'm a human being. Yet no one saw that. They just saw the great things I was doing and things to come so when that ended and I made my first mistake ever I started to be ridiculed and pushed aside and shunned for things so many others do on a daily basis.
And don't get me started on the whole comparing me to others thing. That still happens to me to this day. I'm compared constantly to people who aren't SELENA. Clearly everyone forgets about me and goes on to lecturing me on how so and so would never do such a thing and blah blah blah.
I believe its also become a sexist thing. Because I'm female I shouldn't and should do certain things. But once again people by pass the whole I'm still a human thing.
Now I'm just rabbling. I can go on and on about this and in other posts I will lol but I'm slowly learning that with all this I've been able to slowly discover who I am. I am not who I've been compared to. I am not who people feared me to be. I am not who most have wanted me to be. I am myself and that is good enough for me and the Lord. God made me in a way that was perfect in His eyes. I'm okay with that. All for one reason...'cause when I'm down and seem to start comparing myself and tearing my life apart I remind myself that God thinks I'm amazing and that helps every single time.
Thank You all for reading and just know your shine is just as bright as the shooting star that crosses the dark night skies.
Remember....Be More. Do More. Love More. Besos xoxo.