What Is There To Say ?

You ever came to a point where you were so hurt and full of sadness you didn't know how to describe it ?
Well that's how I feel right at this moment. See all my life I never felt accepted by anyone not even my own family. I always felt like there was something they didn't like about me. Or something I did was always wrong in their eyes. I always had to do things their way; the way they saw fit.
I was always treated differently from everyone else despite the situation or who I was with. Amongst friends, family, peers etc; people always saw me differently. I was always told "you're treated differently because you're not like anyone else." I don't have any clue why anyone thought that line made me feel better.
But as I got older I realized when I did something it was like the world was going to end but if someone else did the exact same thing it was always "oh they're expected to do that let it go." But why? Why does it have to be like that? Why can't I be expected of such things? The response always was "It's not like you" or "You're not capable of such things." But who's to say I'm not ?
See many have set high standards for me and have set me on an extremely high pedestal completely forgetting that I'm a human being. Yet no one saw that. They just saw the great things I was doing and things to come so when that ended and I made my first mistake ever I started to be ridiculed and pushed aside and shunned for things so many others do on a daily basis.
And don't get me started on the whole comparing me to others thing. That still happens to me to this day. I'm compared constantly to people who aren't SELENA. Clearly everyone forgets about me and goes on to lecturing me on how so and so would never do such a thing and blah blah blah.
I believe its also become a sexist thing. Because I'm female I shouldn't and should do certain things. But once again people by pass the whole I'm still a human thing.
Now I'm just rabbling. I can go on and on about this and in other posts I will lol but I'm slowly learning that with all this I've been able to slowly discover who I am. I am not who I've been compared to. I am not who people feared me to be. I am not who most have wanted me to be. I am myself and that is good enough for me and the Lord. God made me in a way that was perfect in His eyes. I'm okay with that. All for one reason...'cause when I'm down and seem to start comparing myself and tearing my life apart I remind myself that God thinks I'm amazing and that helps every single time.
Thank You all for reading and just know your shine is just as bright as the shooting star that crosses the dark night skies.
Remember....Be More. Do More. Love More. Besos xoxo.

Late Night Thoughts

I been going through quite a lot lately. But before I get into that. I realized that I didn't address what this blog will be about in my last post. Pretty much this will be a blog about everything and anything that interests me and hopefully interest my viewers. From beauty to clothing to reviews to everyday life thoughts and issues and so much more. My brain is constantly cluttered with thoughts 24/7. So I tend to have a lot to say I well...never say any of it lol. This blog will hopefully help me unclutter my mind and organize my thoughts.
For the past few months its been stressful and scary. I've had a huge wake up call and honestly its about time. I've felt stuck for so long. I mean I still feel that way but I feel like now I have a better grasp of what I have to do. As opposed to before I had no damn idea what I was suppose to be doing.
I recently turned 20 and let me say so far its been rough. Yes your 20s are the years of self exploration and becoming responsible, all that adult type stuff. But they weren't kidding when they said you're officially an adult once you're 20.
I'm excited for my 20s don't get me wrong but sheesh can I be a kid again for just one day. I'm realizing I only have myself. No relying on anyone cause if you do...well you'll either be taken for granted or stabbed in the back. Neither one of those is a better option than just doing all for yourself.
I've also noticed that people I didn't think had my best interest in mind are actually there for me. I've lost people who said they had my back and I've gained people I never would've thought would walk with me on this journey.
I'm learning to be a bit more responsible than I was before. Having to do more for myself and make full on decisions all on my own without anyone telling me yes or no.
Most importantly I've realizing that I have so much to learn and so much out there for me to grab. I won't let them slip from my fingers. I'm too use to letting go of opportunities due to not wanting to let anyone down. But now I have all the say in whatever I want to do and I'm going to go after all the options I have.
Remember guys... Be More. Do More. Love More. Besos xo

Starting Over

   Can't believe my old blog got deleted. But in that being done I realized it was probably the best possible thing to have been done. At first I thought to myself "damn all those posts gone". I spent a lot of time on them. Then I stepped back and said "maybe its for the best. And it honestly was.
    I've been through a lot since the last post I put out. That was about 4 months ago. I'm a completely different person now than I was. Which is crazy yet amazing to me. That I can change so much over a short amount of time.
    This journey I've been on hasn't been an easy one but its been worth it. I've been through ups and downs. More downs than ups. But I can say I've learned so much from these past four months that I'm hoping to share with you all in due time
   Thank you all so much for sticking by me and being patient. I love you all. God bless you all.
Remember ... Be More. Do More. Love More. Besos xo