Lately I've noticed a pattern. It's not a very good one. I starting blogging and make videos because its something I actually have always loved doing. Creating videos and writing. When I was younger I use to make videos on my digital camera my mom got me for Christmas one year; with my brother. He and I would just act goofy and crack jokes. It would be hours of footage of us just be ourselves. I felt free, I felt like no one could judge me. Being in front of a camera was an escape 'cause I could be anyone I wanted to be. I could make up my own stories and scenarios and no one could tell me anything lol. With writing I've always had a passion for it. It's something I picked up from my mom. Any chance I got I wrote about whatever it was. Whether it was a poem or a song or a dream I had the night before. I had many stories to tell.
So when I started my blog and my Youtube channel I wasn't someone who thought I would get 1000 views overnight. I wanted to be noticed for what I believe is so great about me. That's why a year ago I worked up the courage to start making videos of me singing. It was something I wanted to finally share with the world and show people there is more to me than what meet the eye. Even if I thought I was terrible I took a risk because singing is apart of me. Just like making videos and writing. I think its why I love watching videos so much and reading essays isn't a boring task for me. It's exhilarating to get a peak into the mind of another individual.
But I've noticed ever since I started to express myself in other ways doesn't seem like anyone cares enough. I ask people to view my content not cause I want a view but because if gives me that satisfaction that someone heard my voice and I would believe since that one person heard me they would want to share it with others. But that never seems to be the case. I don't care about popularity or the spotlight. I just want someone to hear me. I just want to be noticed for my art for once.
Growing up it wasn't easy at all. A tiny, "shy", Hispanic girl was far from who anybody wanted to be associated with let alone notice she existed. I never had a say in anything most of the time and was always secluded from things. I was that kid who would get picked last in kickball. When I had issues I hid them away because when I screamed out as loud as I could my voice was only as soft as the wind in the night. I was never heard, I was never asked my opinions. It was only assumed that I would agree with everyone else. Since most thought I didn't have a mind of my own.
So things like writing and singing and making videos isn't just that. It isn't just a passion and an art to me. It's my life. A life I never got to live. A life I wanted to unravel from the dark sheet that it hid behind. A life that no one but myself knows ever existed.
I want to be noticed for someone no one ever thought possible because the way people see me with their eyes isn't who I truly am. Who I am is hidden deep inside the depths of my mind and the crevices of my shattered heart.
So when I say to share my material, my art. I don't say it to b repetitive or annoying or to get views. I say it cause maybe someone you know may find whatever I speak about or make a video about or even sing about useful and helpful for them as it has for me. Everything I say and do is based off experience and I don't want to hide that when I know others can use it just as much as I can. Even if you don't find it useful; there are over 7 billion people in the world...somebody will.
Thank you all for reading
Remember....Be More. Do More. Love More. Besos xoxo
P.S. Please share I really mean it. All of this posting isn't to become big or be better than anyone its to honestly get this world one step closer to becoming better. Also please comment as well don't be afraid to give your words of wisdom or honest opinions. They are all welcome.
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